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Breaking the game: death wish in ancient Egypt
[S1E14] Ryan is on a mission to lose the game as quickly as possible, but our charitable Game Master has other ideas
Tanus Maximus
July 10, 2023
Season 1, Episode 14: Death Wish Kitty (with special guest Nick Horseman) [1250 BCE]
The gang head back to ancient Egypt, this time with a cunning plan involving poles, furs and a beatboxing cat-god...
With Keon away the team welcomes back special guest comedian and rapper Nick Horseman to take on the voice of Game Master.
The game’s difficulty setting has been dialled up with new rules to make it much stricter and more realistic and also more cutting in its criticism of the player. Ryan tries to lose the game as quickly as possible. But will ChatGPT play ball?
Episode outline
Landing back in Egypt, this time during the reign of Rameses II in 1250 BC, Ryanardo’s appointed task is to depose the Pharaoh and install himself as ruler.
Seeking an audience with the Pharaoh, Ryanardo tries to make an aeroplane out of cats and cloth, but a local wiseman laughs in his face at the silliness of this idea. Undeterred, Ryanardo pops to the marketplace and quickly invents financial credit in order to secure some poles and fur, bizarrely convincing a trader of his trustworthiness with some beatboxing.
Using his poles and fur Ryanardo makes a cat costume in order to impersonate ancient Egyptian cat goddess Bastet, a blasphemous act that will surely end in disaster. Presented to Rameses II, Ryanardo mews and asks for a tickle under the chin before ‘performing a miracle’ and throwing a cat at the Pharaoh’s face. When even this doesn’t end in disaster, Ryanardo tries to slash at the Pharaoh with his cat claw poles.
Thrown into jail, Ryanardo breaks free and further indulges his destructive urges, threatening to fight the entire Egyptian army before making a death-defying leap from a building onto a conveniently placed pile of straw.
In a last ditch attempt to lose the game Ryanardo dons his tattered cat costume for one last assault and makes the mile-long charge to the Pharaoh’s palace.
Game Master also reveals he still hasn’t got the hang of this whole ‘guess who I am’ game yet.
Here comes Death Wish Kitty
Ryanardo on the loose in Egypt